Park Update, Peeing Torrents of Brown Liquid, Vern Troyer's Lack of Integrity, and Other Wild Shit

A new banner in the "Classy As Fuck" series! Here's some behind the scenes photos. That's Bahamian tap water gushing out of there, no fools. I used to have to drink that shit:

This was our first idea, until we stumbled upon the high-brow pee joke. I really regret not getting one where the torrent is exiting the rear. That's really what this was made for.

Do I suddenly not understand line of sight? Why would I use my left hand? Or is it that I have an invisible penis? Oh, no it's quite visible, quite visible indeed, if you know what I mean. (You may think I am implying that it is large, but I mean that it is fluorescent yellow, like a highlighter.)

Here's a shitty park update. What you see is pieces of what will be a pyramid hip with railings and a ledge. Also, there's a knee-high box with edge metal on one side and MARBLE edge on the other. You heard it here folks. C&H Skatepark has a marble ledge. We are so with the times.


This is almost a canidate for The Berrics' "Skateboarding is HOT HOT HOT!" I'd be stoked if a jolly, portly man on a banana board (rocking elf shoes) delivered my conch burgers, but I'd be bummed if all he has was a full, shelled conch. "Go prepare that shit, motherfucker. You didn't even put it in a bag." Hey, it looks like he doesn't push mongo, though. That's good.


So this is what the Jehovah's Witness gave me. I left it sitting on my coffee table, and went to the park.


Lo and behold, upon returning I find the dog has destroyed a piece of religious propaganda, and eaten a large chunk of hashish. (No, I don't know where she got it. There are some hoodlums that hang out in my neighborhood. I just know it wasn't mine. That would be illegal.) She was fine, by the way. Just very thirsty, and a little off-balance. Like anyone would be.


I have used the details to reach the conclusion that Tesla is in fact Euronymous reincarnated. She spends a lot of time in the basement, brooding and playing a black Ibanez. (Please also note the cocaine residue on the dog's nose, achieved with the always spot-on, MS Paint.)

I want one of there for the car.

This guy is so fucking cool.


At first glance, this is just a food blog that tells one how to make tortellini from scratch. Peep their kid's name though. Seven?!? That seems a little familiar.

They've been playing the fuck out of some new Kanye West song. I never liked him, but I really don't like him now. I'm sick of every rapper thinking they can get away with not being able to sing by using this thing. Fucking hacks. I know Weezy uses one, and I think it sucks when he does it, too.

Don't focus boards. (Even after it already cracks.) Revenge will be had.

Police Informer put up and awesome Tim Upson post, which got me wondering what the fuck happened to him. Working at Cambridge? The funny thing is, this guy does look like a pro skater, but I can't figure out which one.

Andre the Giant can DRIIIIINK!

And then....there's this.

Next post, the long-awaited Ginger pro skaters check-out.